A Poem for Christmas

The Christmas Ambush

Twas the night before Christmas

And just so no one gets shot

There's no front door delivery

And we keep the gates locked

Down the road we go

A few miles and more

To pick up the presents

From Grandma's back porch

After some coffee

We drank hot and black

We said goodnight

And then we made tracks

It was just about then

On the way home

I heard "Rawhide" playing

So I answered phone

It was my dear mother

On her way home from town

Said she needed some gunners

To chase someone down

Of course we were packing

My brother and I

Not to mention little sister

(Better known as deadeye)

We grinned at each other

Our eyes shining bright

And drove on more slowly

And turned off the lights

Then there it was

Parked at our gate

Some kind of red vehicle

Unknown model and make

We waited for word

From all our kinfolk

Till we had them surrounded

With no place to go

We rolled down the windows

And freed up our guns

Turned on the lights

And moved in as one

There in the headlights

We saw real clear

A big 'ol red sleigh

And some strange lookin' deer

I guess that the driver

Was takin' a break

But all of the sudden

He came right awake

Before we could get out

And ask that old man

Just what he was doin'

'Round our patch of sand

He started a hollerin'

And callin' some names

Them deer sure paid attention

When he popped them big reins

It's a good thing our fence

Ain't too much higher

'Cause short as is was

They broke the top wire

Early next morning

Under the tree

There was a roll of barb wire

Addressed to me

"I meant no offense!"

Read the short note

"Here's for the fence,

That my sleigh broke."

There were lots of presents

More than we'd ever seen

And so many new guns

We took two days to clean

Now Santa's list

May seem a bit off

When you look up my family

I'll bet naughty is crossed off

Now if there's a lesson

In this story somewhere

It's next time call our uncle

'Cause he can cover the air